[Title of Blog]

Maryland State Legislature passed the Marriage Equality Bill - and yes, there is still so much further to go via the referendum, but I finally felt the weight of queer be lifted off of me. 

I can usually ignore it. Since I’m not completely gay or completely straight, it’s easy to forget that I’m queer most days. Sometimes it’s easier for me to forget it just because it’s so difficult being at home without a queer support group at the moment. 

But, when I saw that the Maryland Senate passed the bill - I just had to go into the bathroom and start crying. I felt that weight that I ignore so many days be lifted off of me. I have the option of marrying any person I choose to - no matter who I fall in love with. I hadn’t ever thought about the future before so that’s why I never got bothered by it. But, being home and my mom saying ‘I would love if my girls married all of the boys their with now’ (AFTER I came out to her as bisexual)…it’s been weighing on me. What if I don’t spend the rest of my life with a man? What if I fall in love with the most beautiful and wonderful woman? Would she still feel the same way? 

I can’t change my mom, but my future is more open now thanks to the Maryland Legislature. My future is open to be as flexible as I am. I don’t know if I want to get married at all and I don’t know who that would be. However, it can go however I want to now.

And it’s never felt so good to be queer, so I just cried in the bathroom at the Theater before show and I looked at myself and just felt so validated - like I was looking at myself, seeing my identity for the first time in awhile, and it felt amazing. I only wish that I had someone to celebrate the moment with instead of celebrating by myself like I’ve dealt with the queer aspect of me. Oddly enough, it still felt so alienating only because I was still by myself.

Anyway - lots of feelings. Wish I could share them with more friends. But, I think the Internet will have to do.